Cockroach Party UK
Voice of the Overeducated, Underemployed & Chronically Online.
A political front of the youth, by the youth: Secular, Democratic, Exhausted, and Surviving on Spite.
@cockroachpartyuk
Four Demands. Zero Compromises.
A serious platform for unserious times — because the status quo has already run out of ideas.
The Freddo Standard
Peg nation-wide inflation directly to the price of a Cadbury Freddo. If the Freddo rises, the government falls.
Entry-Level Sanity Act
Outlaw requiring "5 years of experience" for entry-level positions paying minimum wage.
Universal Duvet Heating
State subsidies for energy bills for anyone wrapped in three blankets while working remotely.
National Rail Accountability
Cheaper train fares between Manchester and London than a second-hand jet.
They Called Us the Pest. We Made It the Point.
For generations, immigrants and outsiders have been dehumanised with the same tired slur: “cockroaches.” A word used in headlines and hate speech to say some people are lesser, disposable, unwelcome.
So we took it. The cockroach is the ultimate survivor — it outlasts every crisis, every eviction notice, every attempt to stamp it out. That is the migrant story. That is the working-class story. That is our story.
We wear the name with pride. You cannot insult a movement that has already survived everything you threw at it.
The Cockroaches Who Keep Britain Running
Foreign students and migrant workers are labelled the “cockroaches” of the UK — good enough to serve your coffee, stack your shelves, nurse your grandparents, and pay international tuition, but never good enough to belong. We say enough. If we are the pests that hold this country together, then we demand the rights that come with it.
Right to Belong
International students and migrant workers keep this country running — in kitchens, care homes, warehouses, and lecture halls. Treat them as citizens-in-waiting, not disposable labour.
End the Visa Trap
No more £1,000s in fees, 20-hour work caps, and Graduate Visas that expire before the first real job offer arrives. Let people build a life, not just survive it.
Dignity Over Deportation
Stop the hostile-environment paperwork designed to exhaust people out of the country. Fast, fair, human decisions — not a Kafkaesque waiting game.
Same Work, Same Rights
Equal pay, equal protection, and equal healthcare access for every worker regardless of passport. A cockroach survives anywhere — but it deserves better than the shadows.
Do You Qualify?
Meet any of the following and you are already one of us.
- Chronically online (10+ hours daily minimum)
- Has applied to 250+ jobs and received automated rejection emails at 2:00 AM
- Ability to rant professionally about train delays, weather, and rent prices
- Immune to economic crises because "Har halaat mein zinda hain" (We survive every circumstance)
A Movement That Refuses to Be Squashed
Secular. Democratic. Exhausted. Surviving on spite. If you have been overeducated, underemployed and chronically online, the Cockroach Party UK is your home.
“Har halaat mein zinda hain.” — We survive every circumstance.
Join the Party
It takes ten seconds. No fees, no fine print.
Donate in Bitcoin
We run on spite, memes, and your spare satoshis. Every donation keeps the servers alive and the revolution slightly better caffeinated.
Bitcoin (BTC)
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